Saturday, December 11, 2004

when all's been said and done

all these things have put me down rock bottom the past week. i felt self pity, as futile as it it may seem, but yes, i did. all these 'suffer the consequences' thing resulted into a desperate effort of *some people trying to justify their faults by means of destroying my name...tsktsk. looks as if i should be the one who pity them, huh? now, going back to self pity, let me just say that taking in everything is not easy. not easy even for me. lucky me i had people who stood by me althroughout...

feeling really bad for myself has demnded alot of understanding from some people out there. one particular person has been understanding enough that this person would take in alot of things from me, up to the point that this person would not budge as i unconsciously channel all my anger to him. i have been mean to this person the past days, why? because this person has been reaching out, trying to take in everything so as to satisfy my need for a tension *slash* anger *slash* disappointemnt outlet.

some friend huh? and i took this person for granted! much as this person wants to project the image that he is strong and could take in everything so as to satisfy a friend, as much as he numbs himself and says he's ok or he's not mad and everything is alright, i know this person has reached the point beyond his limitation. he's hurt, and it's all my fault.

so stupid of me to let others be affected about things they should not be affected by in the first place. so stupid of me to think that it is not okay to show your weaknesses. so stupid of me to take people for granted. stupid of me to feel self pity. stupid of me to not listen. but not so stupid of me to learn and accept my faults.

i apologize.


teltelbasked under the sun on 2:31 PM

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